I don’t know why I have such long gaps between posting updates. Not much to say? Probably. Focusing on family and the pregnancy more? Most likely. Struggling to juggle all the balls and still keep on track of everything? Definitely! I’m sorry to everyone that comes back here looking for something new. I keep hoping things will change.
An update on us
Life isn’t going too badly at the moment. Mark is working. (YAY!!) It’s not exactly what he was looking for but it’s a job with an income that we badly need.
Matthew is going through a phase of telling lies. It just started one day last week and escalated to a point where I had to sit him down and have a talk with him. It’s little lies, and I’m sure most kids go through this. But I had no idea how much it would break me knowing that my offspring is telling such tall tales and that I can’t trust him to tell me the truth anymore. We had a good chat last night and I think he understands how his lies makes me feel. And he promised he’ll try better to stop. That and biting his nails. (Struggling with the nail biting!)
We’re starting to understand more of what Ethan is saying lately. We can actually have a conversation with him and know exactly what he’s talking about, instead of asking every third word “Excuse me?”. But with this comes his new thing of scolding everyone all the time. And he screams when he can’t get what he wants. Life is just hectic with this little boy. But we love it all the same.
Baby #3 is still gently baking and we haven’t had any more scares. We still don’t have any names and my bags have yet to be packed. But I’m trying to enjoy the time just being a family of four before our lives are thrown upside down with the new arrival. I am so worried about being a mom to 3 kids, about how I’ll cope, or share my time and love with them. I know that things will work out and we;ll get through it and come out so much stronger on the other side. But the worry is still there.
I’m okay. The last few weeks of this pregnancy is going to kick my ass, I just know it. I’ve already gotten the “morning sickness” back, my back has started hurting more, I’ve started waking up in the middle of the night to go pee and then I lay awake for an hour after, my pelvis hurts almost all the time and sleeping has become uncomfortable. And no, I’m not complaining. I’m just being real. Even though I am helluva grateful to be able to fall pregnant and carry this baby full term, I am human and feel all the aches and pains associated with being pregnant. I can’t wait to hold this littley in my arms and smell his/her baby smell, and kiss those chubby cheeks, and feel the weight of that small body against my chest and just soak up all the babyness.
It’s Ethan’s birthday on Monday and we’re just doing something very small on Sunday because there is no way this 8 month preggy body is going to be able to do much.
Also, I’ve forgone the baby shower this time around. Although I would love to celebrate this baby like we did for the boys, there just isn’t the funds to do it right now. We might have something very simple when the baby is here and do a double celebration with my birthday. Still feel a bit sad about it though.