This one’s for the dads – trust your way

*written in collaboration with Baby Dove

So your wife/partner just peed on a stick and you realise that your life is about to change in ways you would never think possible. You guys reach the 12 week mark and think now is the time to tell the world (if you could contain your excitement before telling everyone).

Suddenly, everyone has some type of advice for your wife/partner. Don’t eat this, don’t drink that, use this for the aches, use that to sleep better. She’s frustrated and emotional, advice overload, and you have no idea how to make things better for her. But you chop on and you get to a point that you don’t say or do the wrong thing for a few hours and you can make your wife/partner relatively comfortable.


Baby’s here!
Then your beautiful bouncing baby arrives. You’re enthralled, overwhelmed, ecstatic, nervous and maybe even a little scared. You take baby out for the first time, you need diapers and your wife/partner needs some fresh air, to get out of the house for a bit. You’re standing in the queue, baby is in the pram covered up (or in the baby carrier) and the aunty standing behind you in the queue starts chatting to you. “ooh I’m sure that cry means she’s hungry”, “have you tried using this product for his skin”, “she seems jaundiced, have you taken her for a checkup”, and it just goes on and on and you want to tell the lady you just shut her trap and keep her comments to herself. But you’re nice and hate confrontation so you keep quiet, nod your head and say thank you, you’ll try it when you get home.


Time passes but you still doubt yourself
Your baby is now a few months old and you’ve heard all the advice you can handle. You and your wife/partner are both overwhelmed with all the information you’ve been reading up on or been given by friends and family (and the odd aunty in the queue). You start to doubt yourself because one person said you should try the cry it out method, another person said you must chuck the diapers and start potty training from when your baby is 6 months old, but you haven’t even figured out yet how to put the grower on with getting his arms stuck.


I’ve been down this road 3 times now and I too, have heard it all. So now, I’m going to give you some advice. Only you and your wife/partner know your baby. You can read every single parenting book out there but each child is unique. Your baby is unique. You’ve been around this little person for his entire life, held her when she cried at 3am because she woke up and wouldn’t go back to sleep, bathed his little body and used the special bum cream when she got a bad nappy rash. You know when he’s hungry, or crying because she needs a diaper change. You know how warm she likes her formula bottle or how he likes to sleep.

Don’t let anyone’s advice and well-meaning comments cause you to doubt yourself. Thank the person, smile and say you will take their advice into consideration. At the end of the day, you can listen to everything everyone tells you. It’s up to you to take that advice and then use what you think might work for you and your baby.

Mark and the boys

TRUST that you know what’s best for YOUR baby. TRUST that you’re strong enough to do what is right for YOUR baby. TRUST that you have the patience and the knowledge to raise your baby the best way you know how. TRUST that you can give your wife/partner the support and trust that she needs.

Just love your baby. And Trust Your Way!


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2 thoughts on “This one’s for the dads – trust your way

  1. Helen says:

    I agree, only YOU know your baby. Sure, listen to the advise, if you can’t escape, but everyone is different. Even now with older kid/s, your family unit is unique and what works for you is all that counts.
    I was fortunate not to get inundated with advise. My Mum was always of the opinion that I would ask her something if I needed to and the MIL was surprisingly quiet about it all, LOL

    • Kim Muller says:

      Oh yes, I also still get loads of advice. And it’s not even for Harper. “Isn’t Matthew too thin? You should make him eat more” “Ethan looks like he could do with a haircut, it’s not good for boys to walk around with long hair”.
      Lol I also had my mom for advice. Now I have my MIL and other moms in my circle.

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