Testing, testing

*DISCLAIMER* This post has some talk about female anatomy and bodily functions. 

It’s a week before my period is due. I just realised now that I was on antibiotics for the sinus infection I had. Doesn’t antibiotic cancel out the pill? Shit! The husband is not going to be happy. As much as I want this, I want us BOTH to want it.

I start noticing all the symptoms now, sore/crampy boobs, bloating, cramping, exhaustion, nausea. Everything seems like a symptom. The first thing I do is hop onto Pinterest  to look for new ways to announce this pregnancy to Mark, to the boys, to family, on social media. There are some amazing ideas out there! I am getting so happy about the thought of this “glipsie”.

Maybe it’s time I buy a pregnancy test. I buy the double pack at Clicks, sometimes it’s too early to test so I’ll have a spare for later. The next morning, I take the test…….. Negative. I am beyond disappointed. But it’s okay, it isn’t over until Aunty Flo comes to visit.

Still looking at Pinterest, but now I’m on the fertility forums as to when is the best time to test. There is a lot of conflicting information on these forums. CD23 is too soon but 8DPO has seen a positive HPT before. All the jargon. Luckily I know my way around the terms.

I take 5 more tests. 5!! I am that positive I am pregnant. Even Mark asked me if I’m pregnant, saying that he had this feeling that it’s so. We’re both happy and looking forward to the positive test, regardless of the financial implications this could bring…….

…….Until Aunty Flo came to visit a few days ago. And boy is she here with a vengeance! And that, my friends, is that. There is definitely no way I could possibly be pregnant right now.

The disappointment of looking at the stick after 5 minutes and seeing only 1 line is tangible. Keeping the stick and looking at it again hours later hoping that a line magically appeared. Seeing a very faint line, getting a little excited but knowing that 8 hours after peeing on the stick, it’s definitely an evap line.

I daydreamed about having a little girl, how the boys would play fight with her, how Mark would dote on her. Or if it was another boy, how I would be extra special being the only female in a house full of testosterone. I know that this thinking wasn’t the best thing I could do (especially without proof that I was pregnant) but I couldn’t help myself. Mark and I haven’t yet spoken about what happened yet, I think we’re both still processing it.

Why are AF symptoms and pregnancy symptoms so bladdy similar?

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