Life goes on

Life goes on, right?

Both boys have been a bit ill recently. A cough here, a sniffle there. Fevers, vomit, constipation. Life goes on.

Work peeps don’t really understand. There’s a job to be done and if you’re not there, you suffer the consequences. Sick children or not, life goes on.

We were at the dentist recently as well. Matthew was amazing and I was so proud of him. He did so well, I wanted to spoil him with whatever he wanted. Then I got the bill for the visit. Which was fine, I have medical aid. But the medical aid doesn’t want to pay the bill. So out of my pocket it comes and the spoil gets forgotten. Oh what was I saying, life goes on.

How do you know if you’re suffering with a bit of depression or if you’re just sad because it’s your mom’s birthday in a week? And she’s not here anymore. Life goes on I suppose.

I’m constantly tired, even if I sleep through the night with no disruptions from Ethan. I feel like I can put my head down at 10am and just sleep. I can’t stay awake at night to spend some QT with my husband. Is it depression? I get irritable with the boys, I don’t feel like doing anything at all and yet life goes on.

We’ve been house hunting since February and it’s still ongoing. If we find something we like, it’s out of our budget. If it’s in budget, it’s not what we’re looking for. Finding a new house is not for the fainthearted. And still, life goes on.

The Terrible Twos has taken over our household. Ethan is a different child and I just want my sweet, soft natured kid back. I know he will outgrow it eventually, so in the meantime, life goes on.

But you know what, I sometimes don’t want life to go on. I want to wallow a bit. I don’t want to always be the one to shake it off and carry on. I want to be able to have a lie in, lose my shit every now and then, cry and scream and throw a tantrum that my youngest would be proud of.

But then again…..


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4 thoughts on “Life goes on

  1. catjuggles says:

    Oh Kim – I am so sorry, Yes, life can be very tough. Maybe look into something herbal that will lift the mood? It is very common to feel slightly depressed after the death of a loved one

    • Kim Muller says:

      Thank you Cat. I’m wallowing and I know. I need to get out of this funk and get something more lighthearted onto the blog. You’re right, I will have to look into taking something for the mood.

  2. Shelley (thedealis) says:

    You are allowed to wallow. We have our little pity-party for one and we figure ourselves out (sometimes). Life goes on around us and when we’re ready we get right back on that horse and soldier on.
    Know that you are a strong woman. You have had to deal with a great loss. I might not understand but I can be there for you. You have a whole community behind you ❤

    • Kim Muller says:

      Thank you Shelley. My horse is a little wayward thing that needs a lot of calm talking to. But I’ll get there. Hopefully before I turn all my 3 followers away from the blog 🙂

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