I’m guilty of not sharing the tough times

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Why don’t we like to share the tough or not so good times we’re going through with close friends? Everything is always “fine” or “we’re all good, thanks”, when we’re asked “How are things?”. Are we afraid of being judged? Singled out?

They’re our close friends, why do we always think we have to only show them our perfect moments? They say that a burden shared is a burden halved. Are we so scared to show our hearts that we then give up the hug we need or the kind words our heart needs to hear because we’re not perfect?

I know I’m guilty of this. Almost always you will hear me say that I’m fine or that everything is good, or that I will definitely let you know if I need anything and then I don’t. I don’t admit to my closest friends that I’m not coping at the moment with 3 kids, that Mark and I perhaps had a small argument last night (or 4 nights ago and it’s still on my mind) or that I’m worried about what the future holds, and our financial struggles, etc. I think we need to be more open with each other, so that we can help one another and just be there for each other.

We’ll never know how our situation might be changed just by getting something off our chest, out of our minds, and onto a loving friend’s shoulders. We’ll never know how someone’s elses perspective might force us to relook at a situation and we can then realise that everything WILL be okay or we WILL get through this in the end. Just to be there. With a glass of wine, ice cream, cake or jelly beans, a cup of coffee, and no judgement.

We all struggle and we need to be there for one another. Not break each other down and step on one another. Whether you’re struggling financially, with work, a new boy friend, coping with the newborn, or your weightloss issues, we’re not perfect and I promise I won’t judge you. I’ll be there for you, whether it’s to vent, sip on a glass of wine and watch a movie, or just sit quietly together while you work through what’s on your mind without being alone, I’ll be there. But I just need you to be there for me too.

There are a lot questions in this post, I know. I’m just struggling to come to terms with why I am like this and figure out a way to let go and trust my friends more. I am able to blurt all my shit out onto my blog, but sitting down and telling my friends face to face what my issues are is too difficult for me. I can’t be the only one that does this, am I?

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4 thoughts on “I’m guilty of not sharing the tough times”

  1. I think most of us are guilty of that . At least you have a blog where you can look back to one day and say wow I made it through that or look where I am right now . I love this blog post .

  2. Shame, sorry that you’re struggling. I must admit that when people ask me, I do in fact tell them how I really am. But I don’t ask for help, like ever! And my husband always says I put it all on myself – all the pressure, I do it to me, nobody else, all I have to do is ask for help! So maybe start there…instead of saying okay I’ll help and not asking, just ASK! It’s tough though. Us women like to be tough. Sterkte xxx

  3. It sucks being like that, we all fight our own wars. We dont want others to fix it, but just to listen, and maybe give their perspective. Its hard to open up about what is really going on in our life, so we just fight through it on our own and hope for the best.

    You will get through this, you have done it before and you can do it again. You and hubby are both just tired and overwhelmed right now, but things will work out, it has before and it will happen again, you are both strong enough to push through, you must both hang in there xx

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