Does the biological clock ever stop ticking?

Does the irrational obsession with having another baby ever go away?

I turned 35 on Saturday and I’m starting to wonder about the biological clock and the lot. I’ve always wanted a big family. Coming from a smallish family, with only having 1 sibling, I saw myself with at least 5 children. There will always laughter around me, always noise, always someone around. Now I know we can complain sometimes of kids being underfoot and wanting just 5 minutes of peace and quiet. But this is what I saw for my life growing up.

Then I got older, I had 2 children and realised the financial implications of having children. Yet the yearning is still there for another. The husband isn’t very keen at the moment. He’s worried about the finances and the space and whatever else it is that dad’s worry about.

We have 2 boys and with everyone asking us when we’re going to try for the girl, I can’t help but wonder the same thing. Although we have a 50% chance of it being another boy, there’s always that what if. I even wrote myself a letter with the pros and cons of having another baby. Did that work? Nope. Not a damn!

I know realistically we can’t afford another. But how do I let it go? How do I get rid of the fantasy of having another baby? I imagine this little girl, with dark curly hair and a doll under her arm. Sucking her thumb (like I used to) and holding onto my hand. I imagine being there for her choosing dresses, hairstyles, fighting over the razor or how short her skirt is. I imagine helping her with the planning for her wedding, answering her questions with her first pregnancy, being her go to person always.

Granted, I will experience most of the above with my boys yes, but it is well known that although boys can be momma’s boys, when they’re all grown up and married, the chances of them spending most of their time visiting me and not their mothers in law, is slim. Girls gravitate towards their mom, I know I did. I just don’t want to miss out on experiencing some of the things my mom did. I’m being selfish, I know but how do I let it go?

I’ve tried Googling how not to be so obsessed with having another baby, I’ve tried letters and lists. But if I must copy and paste my search history, you’ll see things like “what is life like with a third baby?”, “how to have a successful VBA2C?”, “successfully trying for a girl”, “how to win the Lotto”

Did/do you ever yearn for another baby?

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8 thoughts on “Does the biological clock ever stop ticking?

    • Kim Muller says:

      I’m already thinking of how to approach my doctor to do the sterilisation after the third baby. Guess my mind is made up, it’s getting the husband on the same track that’s the problem.

  1. azestylife says:

    Hi Kim. Thanx for the lovely post. When I was younger, I also thought I’d have four or five kids, but after one crazy pregnancy & a traumatic birth, I’m really nervous to have another. So, for me, the 35 mark is coming very close & the clock is also ticking, but I’m usure about if & when I’ll have another.

    Good luck with your decision. xxx

    • Kim Muller says:

      Thank you azestylife. I can imagine how a crazy pregnancy and traumatic birth can put you off wanting another. I suppose you’ll know in your heart if you’re ready for another. Then perhaps your doctor can monitor you more closely than your last pregnancy and things will be better? Good luck and thank you again!

  2. Rox (aka Lunar) says:

    As someone with one kid who has recently been told I won’t be having another, I can fully understand what you are feeling. I’ve tried listing all the fun things we can do because we have one, and that list doesn’t mean squat – my heart is breaking. That said, I am finding ways to learn to be happy with what we already have, while not worrying what might come in the future. It has been my biggest bringer of peace so far (at least on the days that I don’t throw tantrums in the car on the way to work). Good luck with whatever you decide and however your life of motherhood turns out. xx

    • Kim Muller says:

      Oh Rox, I am so sorry about the news. Knowing something in your head and trying to work towards that feelings is so much different than what is going on in your heart. I hope you find the peace you need. Thank you for your comment 🙂

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