A sick baby and so much guilt

How would you feel if your 1 year old is sick and you have to go to work? I know that I feel terrible and I feel like crying every 5 minutes. I can’t stop thinking about him and wondering how he’s doing.

Let’s just backtrack a bit….

Firstly, ok Ethan is not yet a 1 year old. His birthday is in 3 days’ time so we won’t be technical about it. He started getting sick on Thursday. Just a runny/blocked nose and a slight cough. I was treating it with meds I got for the last time he was sick (read last month). Then on Sunday he spiked a fever. Managed that through the night but my mind kept going to ear infection. Fast forward to yesterday and we’re at the paediatrician. He has his 5th ear infection for the year with the start of bronchial pneumonia.

We now have to see an ENT to make an appointment to have surgery to insert grommets. SURGERY!!! I know it’s a minor operation but they’re still going to put my baby under anaesthetic. I don’t know how to prepare for this. But I know he needs it.

In the meantime, we have to manage that pesky fever and hope his chest clears soon so that they can do the operation. I feel so much guilt for having to be at work while Ethan is sick. I feel guilty because Matthew was sad that he couldn’t stay home with his dad. I feel guilty when I stay home with Ethan to look after. What is it with the guilt?!?! Can it just quit now!?!

Hoping the fevers break soon and he can start getting better. I still have so much prep to do for the party on Saturday and no inclination to do it. I just want to sit and hold Ethan until he’s better.

On another note, you know those Timehop things and the Facebook memories thing. Well, a year ago, Matthew was admitted to hospital with bronchiolitis. The timing you guys….

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